Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about silence. And the damage that can come when we keep it. I’ve been thinking about all the times I kept silent.
I think about how I was in a toxic workplace and didn’t stand up for others, afraid I would become their next target.
I think about the difficult conversations I didn’t have in my personal life and how the relationships that mattered most to me were ruined.
I think about how many times I didn’t ask for what I needed, or wanted, and the anger and resentment I felt when they couldn’t read my mind.
I think about how I let others violate my values. The things that matter most to me….and still remained silent.
Science gives us a few reasons on why we remain silent.
First, the brain will always pick the path of least resistance. And usually that means inaction.
Second, we get our social cues from those around us. If no-one else is speaking up we’ll be less likely to say anything. So, why didn’t I stand up for those who were targets in my toxic workplace? Well, no-one else was, so why would I?
Except here’s the thing. When we we keep the silence to keep the peace we start a war inside ourselves.
And the only way you can stop the raging war is to speak up. Raise your hand. Do whatever it takes, and fill the damn silence.
