Stop comparing yourself.

Your true love I’m about to become as I give you the gift of how to STOP comparing yourself to others!

I heard someone say comparison is the thief of joy.

True.

Comparison is also the thief of self.

Here are some observations I’ve made.

1. I usually compare myself to others when my self esteem is fragile.

2. I compare myself to people I really don’t want to be like.

3. Usually comparison results in me “shoulding” all over myself.

4. When I try to be more like others I become bored.

5. Comparing myself to others diminishes and devalues the talents I bring to the world.

Knowing all these things, it’s still something I catch myself doing. And you know what? Never, in the history of ever, has my comparison motived me to do/be better, or make me feel good.

I bet you can say the same thing.

So, on this sixth day of Christmas I’m going to give you six tips to help you stop comparing yourself to others!!

1. Become aware of your comparison triggers and avoid them. Is it Facebook or Instagram? How about a certain “friend” who’s braggadocios behavior makes you feel small? Certain places trigger you? Figure out what they are and avoid them.

2. People usually post only their most favorable moments on social media. Meaning all that glitters isn’t always gold. I was in Paris earlier this year. I received a message from a friend stating that it looked like I was having the best time ever. Truth is I’d never been sicker and felt like hell the whole time. Again, people rarely pull back the curtain and show you the real stuff.

3. Celebrate other people’s success AND ask them what they did to get where they are. In other words…learn from others. Luck is mostly nonsense. People usually have to work hard for what they have. So learn from them.

4. Water your own damn grass! Make a list of five things you want to learn how to do. And the next time you find yourself comparing, pick one item from your list and start focusing on bettering yourself.

5. Replace should with want. If you find yourself saying “I should do this”….say “I want to do this”. If it feels true the add it to the list of things for you to water!

6. Practice gratitude. Make a list of 10 thing you have that you wouldn’t trade for the world.

You are you. And they are they. I’ll close with one of my favorite quotes from Veronica A. Shoffstall. “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”